Saturday, November 25, 2006

Pregnancy Q & A

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
 
Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
 
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
 
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes
 she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?
 
Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel
 during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air
 current.
 
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
 
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while
 my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
 
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from
Childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
 
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
 
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to
 feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

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