Don't Even!

I wasn't going to post this, but I just need to make something clear:
I am EVER so THANKFUL for EVERY single one of our kids! Not a SINGLE one of our children were "accidents" and not a single one of them were EVER thought of as "too much" or not wanted!

We have been through our share of heartache trying to have children. We have spent YEARS trying to conceive during our parenthood. We've lost 2 babies on that journey and they STILL mean so much to me, a part of my heart that will always be there. I think of them on their "birthdays", wondering who they'd look like or what their personality would be.

I have many friends in real life and online who either have fertility problems, lost babies, genetic problems, or have been told they can't have children. I've been there to hug them or pray for them and I do mean every bit of what I feel. I pray so much that every couple/person that wants a child could be blessed with them. It grieves my heart that those that want children sometimes can't have them and too many times, people that don't want them do.

BUT, don't you DARE come into MY "house" and tell me this:
"Please forgive me for being so bitter.
For those of us who are unable to be blessed w/the joy of a child, it hurts deeply to see what you've been given.
After 4 miscarriages & being told that you'll never be able to conceive....think about what this does to women like myself. I wasn't looking for your site..I just stumbled upon it. Forgive me."

You don't know me, you don't know my family or my history. You have NO idea what we have been through or how we feel. We do NOT take the fact that we've been so wonderfully blessed lightly. I thank God ALL the time for my kids and my husband and family, they are my world and without them my world would be dark.

I do forgive you, but I think you should look into your heart. I know that feeling of wanting a child so bad it hurts and to cry every day and want to scream your frustration at a system that lets innocent children be hurt by negligent parents. I was there when we first started trying, it was a long 14 months that first time and the subsequent times it didn't feel any different. And no, I don't say that to make light of your situation, at all!

I think I'm a good mom, and my husband a good father (actually, I'd say GREAT, but that's IMO). We love ALL of our children with all our hearts and our children are happy! They are well provided for and we give them all the 'perks' we can. We don't abuse our kids EVER and I think they'll grow up with GREAT memories of their childhood.

So YOU should forgive yourself for being bitter of a family that is doing their BEST for their kids! YOU should forgive yourself for begrudging someone else a blessing! YOU should forgive yourself for EVER thinking bad thoughts on another family that LOVES their children, no matter your situation.

Yes, children are a blessing and a bigger blessing are those children who are born into a home where they get all the love, hugs and education they could ever want. You should be thankful for that and be hurt by the many instances where children are left to hurt and a need for love.

DON'T try to make me feel bad for my blessings, EVER!!