Sunday, August 21, 2005

Not as bummed

I'm still feeling a bit bummed, but not as bad as I was. Church was good for me today, a lot of things that were said were said 'to me' (you know how that happens) and I got to talk to someone whom I really look up to and she just came up and gave me a hug, saying "praying the peace of God is with you hon, whatever is bothering you." I broke down crying. It was really something to me, cause sometimes I wonder if all this bothering me so much is really so important, why cant anyone see it? So, it’s like God was giving me a thump on the head. "of course it's important child! I'm your Daddy, I love you!" I just have no one in RL to talk to and really, I don’t know if anyone would understand. Maybe they would, I don’t know. I think when you have one or even two (and especially no) children, they are more sympathetic, but to a family that has four and wants one last child, they tend to look at you funny like you're a french fry short of a happy meal and just nod with a glassy eyed look. That’s part of me that feels so alone right now.

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